I used to say:
hold on to your memories, so that when people change, you know you have your memories which can never change...
I believed in that simple quote so much that I didn't see when it started hurting me. I didn't see when it started hurting me, so I learned, the hard way though, that although memories never change, they fade. That was why I didn't realize when you left me. I couldn't even perceive the dangerous sting that came with memories. As they fade, so do your emotions. What you felt at the time is taken away, through a dangerously subtle process...
I learned, the hard way though, that although memories never change, they fade...
That explains why I seem to forget you more each time I remember. As the sands of time bury our names, so it does with memories of us, memories I wish I could save somehow and watch over and over again when I missed you. But time can only afford us that much oddities.
Right now, I feel justified. Why should I keep my memories of you when you are the one who changed? Why should I gamble with sanity, in a bid to remember what your face looked like, just because you refused to show it to me? Why should I do the things we did together just to recall how fun it was? Why do I have to remember you when memories of me have been washed away from you?
Unless...unless...unless, I got it all wrong. Unless it was I who changed and washed you away from me. That would make me cruel, yes, because I have made us both suffer and gasp for air at memory's clutches. I...I did it. I did didn't I?
Right now, I feel guilty, for what happened to us. But why should I? Maybe I shouldn't, but right now? What if I don't know?